Enlightenment Ensues

So it has occurred to me that I should state a few basic tenets of unsucklyness and enlightenment. So here are a few, in no particular order, to get you started on the correct Path.

1. Do not drive like an asshole.

2. Muslims want to kill you. If you do not think so, hopefully you will die through your own stupidity before they do kill you.

3. Porn is good. As the old saying goes,"Do you know what I like about porn? Everything."

4. Steaks are good. Vegans are dirty-hippie-fuck-ups, who will hopefully die of malnutrition sooner than later.

5. Booze is good. Particularly vodka. On ice. In large quantities.

6. Guns are good. Regular citizens should be allowed concealed carry, anywhere. The crime rate would go to zero overnight and dead criminals would be litter in the streets.

7. The police do not give a fuck about you. They are only there to generate revenue for the city. If the nice officer with the nice mustache tells you different, guess what?
He is lying.

8. If you are in favor of "Affirmative Action", you are a racist. Nobody alive today had anything to do with slavery. So stop fucking whining and take responsibility for your own well-being.

9. Organized religion is for the weak-minded, hopeless masses. It is, without question, the worst thing to ever happen to the human race. Religion has been the cause of most wars and are themselves directly responsible for more death, destruction and misery than everything else in history, combined.