Enlightenment Ensues

So it has occurred to me that I should state a few basic tenets of unsucklyness and enlightenment. So here are a few, in no particular order, to get you started on the correct Path.

1. Do not drive like an asshole.

2. Muslims want to kill you. If you do not think so, hopefully you will die through your own stupidity before they do kill you.

3. Porn is good. As the old saying goes,"Do you know what I like about porn? Everything."

4. Steaks are good. Vegans are dirty-hippie-fuck-ups, who will hopefully die of malnutrition sooner than later.

5. Booze is good. Particularly vodka. On ice. In large quantities.

6. Guns are good. Regular citizens should be allowed concealed carry, anywhere. The crime rate would go to zero overnight and dead criminals would be litter in the streets.

7. The police do not give a fuck about you. They are only there to generate revenue for the city. If the nice officer with the nice mustache tells you different, guess what?
He is lying.

8. If you are in favor of "Affirmative Action", you are a racist. Nobody alive today had anything to do with slavery. So stop fucking whining and take responsibility for your own well-being.

9. Organized religion is for the weak-minded, hopeless masses. It is, without question, the worst thing to ever happen to the human race. Religion has been the cause of most wars and are themselves directly responsible for more death, destruction and misery than everything else in history, combined.

Terminal Lack of Education

FUCK. I obviously was un-fucking-successful in crashing the only fucking class I wanted to fucking take. Fuck off.

Lack of Education

So, there I was knee deep in the rice paddies of Irvine Valley Collage, desperately trying to crash Bio 11. I was surrounded by enemy forces after the same priceless object, an Add slip with the Prof's signature. Such are the trials and tribulations of Summer School in increasingly over-crowded OC. Interestingly, I found myself as a minority for one of only a handful of times in my life. I was one of three white males in a classroom designed for 30, but packed with 70. (I said but packed!!Haa) The breakdown was something like this, 90% female and about 40% of total asian with about five asian males and almost every one else white females. So I'll be back in enemy territory after work hoping to be one of the four or five schmucks randomly picked to ascend the heavenly heights and be granted the honor of a coveted spot Bio 11 Human Anatomy.

The Good Word

Merriam-Webster has published a list of what it says are its users "favorite words."

I hate plethora. Otherwise, the list is fun. A few of my favorites: strumpet and harlotte, tomfoolery and shenanigans, curmudgeon, schmuck, fledgling, bustling, flabbergasted, nefarious and malevolent, slobber-knocker, lugubrious and melancholy, burgeoning, plucky, eddying, and bosom.


via the agitator

The Block

So I started my blog because I have alot to say. Alot of dumb-asses to educate. Or so I thought. I seem to have the dreaded "writers block". Am I calling myself a writer, no. I think the problem might be I have too much to say and don't know which jerk-off to set on the path to enlightenment first.

Suckalairity Ensues

At work, almost everyone else has the day off. Clients and FC's are bitching incessantly.Blah blah fucking blah. Just shut the hell up.

You are wrong.

Everything you do and know is wrong. The sad fact is that you are too stupid to realize it. That is why you have me. I am going to set you straight. On everything. Repeatedly. Until you are no longer stupid. It may be a Sisyphean task but you have no choice.

Welcome

Hi, I am Q, I'll be your tour guide on the path to enlightenment.